Karma Rules – July 20th Game – Playoff Game # 1

 

Some believe that what goes around, comes around.  I for one, sincerely hope that it’s true.  If it is, jerks like the Smith’s Tavern manager won’t win.  If it’s not, I hope B61 can pull out another strong victory so jerks like the Smith’s Tavern manager doesn’t win.  He might have written the league rules, “I WROTE THOSE RULES TWO YEARS AGO!!”, but he certainly didn’t write the rules of karma.  Should I mention that he forgot to write in rules about good sportsmanship?

 

The B61 Lineup

·          Johanna “I almost had my foul tip”  as catcher

·          “Almost Mr. Shutout” Jonathan as pitcher

·          Run It Out Raible, “Baron of First Base” at first base

·          Betsy with the Big Girl Glove on second

·          Double Play Bonner at shortstop

·          “Gimpy” Jamie at third base

·          Steve the Reinhart in left field

·          “I won’t shut up” Capone in center

·          Lawyer Alex in right center field

·          “My mother called me Tammy once, just once” Tamara in right field

·          Amy as backup catcher

·          JJ “Ooh, I think I’m drunk” as DH

 

·          Sammy Sosa as guest scribe and Jim, Piece, Whipit, and Timber as fans

 

The Game

Wow.  Run It Out said that I should write an opus about this game, but I don’t know where to begin.  I thought the hard part would be that my old pitching coach Blue was back.  Yet, I knew his game of “Find the Strike Zone”, and I was ready.  Jamie and Matt had warned us from the start that Smith’s Tavern had complainers, but who listens to them anyway?  Turns out, they were right.   From the very first play, they were out in full force.  JJ hits a rocket to left field, ignores the call to stop at third and runs for home.  Ballsy.  Play at the plate, pitcher blocking the base, and JJ (goes around him/ slides on his knee/ trips)? Not sure what happens, but the ump calls him safe, and the Smith’s go wild.  Third base and others come in and start yelling at the ump claiming that he slid.  Ump stands by his call – he’s safe.  They must have argued for 5 minutes.  It’s a game, guys. 

 

We finally get to continue when we get another snag.  Jamie gets caught in a rundown between second and third.  He makes it back to second but not without twisting his knee.  Karma was with us because JJ had decided to bring Jamie’s knee brace – without it, Jamie would have been on a stretcher.  Coach limps to the sidelines cursing the no slide rule.  Momentarily stunned, B61 starts right up again.  Only to lead to another argument.  A hit sends Capone running for home.  Another play at the plate- this time, Capone takes down the catcher.  Oops.  “I was going for the play.”  Yet again, they argue.  I don’t think you score runs by arguing with the ump.  Ant apologizes, but they want nothing to do with it.  Whatever.  Eventually, we get to hit more and end with a 4-0 lead.  Not too shabby.

 

I thought we were done with the arguments, but it had only just begun.  Their manager, Red Face with the Red Cap and his bad ass cargo pants, comes in from the outfield and YELLS at the ump.  “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  I USED TO RUN THIS LEAGUE?  YOU’RE NOT FOLLOWING THE RULES.  I WROTE THE RULES. …Blah, blah, blah…”   I got to give it to Blue – he kept his cool.   When we stepped in, Red Face started, “WHY DON’T YOU STAY OUT OF IT?  WHY DON’T YOU SHUT UP?”  Who yells at Raible with those pinchable cheeks of his?   Capone starts in from the outfield, “I won’t shut up,” which just got Red Face even more mad.  Red Face actually says, “I’ve got a girl at home.  I’ll slap you.”  Whoa.  What does that say about the guy?  Capone handles it with class – “You want to get physical, and that’s just stupid.”  Smith’s actually had to hold that guy back.  Throw the guy out.  If there are limits, he drove a semi over them.  My team came through again.  “Let’s forfeit.  If the game means that much to you, we forfeit.”  That’s why I love them.  Blue wouldn’t let us, so when Red Cap finally keeps his ranting to his bench, we take the field and take them down.  No runs with two left on base.  Sweet.

 

Off we went.  In the second, a few more runs for the Bus Stops, and then, my pitching comes through with the help of Johanna coming to the mound.  I walked the first basewoman with the long legs, and then struck out the other two girls to leave two runners stranded including Red Face on second.  “Ooh, Jon.  Mention the pretty cloud.  The pretty cloud with the sun behind it.”  Ok, Sam.  The cloud really was purty.  The third brings us two more runs, and another good catch by Capone keeps them scoreless.   Jamie’s still hurt, but he’s hanging in on third base.

 

For the fourth, I remember making it home and also tagging out Red Face with a play at the plate from Raible.  To his credit, Red Face did give himself up easily because he knew he was out.  For the rest of it, however, you’ll have to interpret our guest scribe Sam’s commentary—

And we are still serenaded by the bodega theme songs.  Fourth inning stretch.  Is it the glare of the sun or is our team just all smiles – quiet start.  Raible with imaginary staff in right hand makes his third out of the game – nice job King Raible, Baron of First Base.  Even Bonner’s strong arm can’t claim it – we’re out.       

If you want her to do the writeups from now on, just let me know.

 

We kept chipping away, and by the sixth inning, we were ahead 11-0.  Two things happened.  First, Smith’s invoked a rule about which I had never heard.  In the 5th, 6th, and 7th innings, if the pitcher walks a guy who has a girl batting afterwards, she automatically gets walked too.  (It’s to prevent teams from only pitching to women for “supposedly” easier outs.)  Secondly, my brain broke.  I had just been pitching in my zone.  Then, I found out the score, and JJ cheered, “C’mon, Mr. Shutout.”  (Sorry, JJ) and I lost it.  Along the way, I get two outs, but I started walking people, including Red Face.  With the next girl walking rule, they easily load the bases, and score 4 runs, all on walks.  Ouch.  Amy and Matt come to the mound, but it’s not enough.  We can’t wait for me to get it back, so B61 goes to the Secret AA-JJ rotation formation –Alex goes to first, Andrew goes to third, Jamie goes into pitch,  and I go to center right – very risky and never before tried in regulation play.   One popup to Betsy, and we leave the inning 11-4.

 

“Now’s not the time to go bed,” as B61 took the field again after finishing the top of the seventh with no more runs.    The AA-JJ formation holds as Alex fields a ground ball to Andrew for the first out.  It’s only two batters, and Jamie’s already showing frustration at Blue’s “Find the Strike Zone” game.  Feel my pain!  Yet, he holds in.   Another popfly to Capone, one more out, and we’re victorious.  11-4.  Several of them wouldn’t even shake our hands afterwards.  Remember the spirit of the game?  That’s not it.  B61 returns to the bar for reveling and cheer.  Are we ready to shut them down again?

  

Memorable Moments

·          Matt’s beautiful snag of a line drive with a throw to first for a double play

·          Crouching Tiger – Their batter who would stand with a three inch strike zone until I threw his first strike.

·          Their left fielder diving for Steve’s hit and flipping over as the ball rolled free

·          Johanna getting TWO chances to catch a foul tip.  Third time’s a charm.                                         

·          My getting two strikeouts AGAINST GIRLS.  Makes up for the two walks to the other girl.  J

·          Blue actually complimenting me on my pitching.  Betsy said that Blue should give me more pitching advice.  What was she thinking??  Fortunately, I ran away in time.

·          Blue saying he would ump the rest of the playoffs for us if we wanted.  That could work to our favor.  It’s like playing with a tilted pool table where we know what the tilt is.  Besides, Smith’s already hates him.

·          The two ladies cheering and calling the game from behind first base.  “He’s out!”

·          Johanna being so desperate for a foul tip that she was even trying to catch flying nachos

·          Not part of the game, but congrats to Amy on product placement in New York Magazine

·          Lawyer Alex going 4 for 4

 

Player of the Game

Well, if there was doubt about the player of the game, Capone cinched it with his hoisin nachos.  Super yum.  Capone had a great game.  3 for 4 with two doubles and lots of good catches in the outfield.  Plus, he pissed off Red Face without getting physical.  That must have had a good psychological impact for us. 

 

My Soapbox

We played a strong game.  We got hits and runs not only from the heart of our lineup, but also from the soul (Yay! Lady Bus Stops).  Most of all, we played strong defense.  My pitching well definitely helped, and I will try to keep that going.  In the movie Miracle, Kurt Russell is giving his team a pep talk before they play the Russians in the Olympics.  “They may beat us 9 out of 10 times, but not tonight.  Tonight is the night we win.”  Smith’s is pissed.  They are going to come back with a vengeance, and we have to hold it together.  Be ready to play.  Thursday is our night to win again.

 

One strategy point – We should use the Next Girl Walking rule to our advantage.  In the later innings, we should try to force the walks.  It’s the equivalent of a free double and a single.   We’re a team that swings away, but it might help us at some point.

 

Web Site

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